People always talk about work life balance. I have often wondered what that looks for those wearing multiple roles within the academy and their families. I am a mother, daughter,
aunt, wife, sister, friend and caregiver. I am a professor, Vice provost, co-investigator, co-author, lead author, strategist and influencer. All of these titles come with responsibilities.
The notion of balance has become more and more controversial in the last few years. I would argue that balance is unachievable. To strive for balance is a set up to fail. I hate to sound so negative but it is so true. There are times in which we have to lean into various roles. Those roles become way more important than anything else in the moment. Instead of striving towards balance, it has become important for me to strive towards being present in the moments I am most needed in. Often that does not bring balance. I have also focused on paying attention to myself. I focus on my body, my feelings, and my needs to ensure that in my imbalance I am practicing good self care. Recently, my dad had a huge health scare. He was confined to ICU and the prognosis was not good. I had to be his daughter in that moment. Nothing mattered besides the role of daughter and caregiver. That meant dropping everything to be there in that moment. I could not worry about work. I had to feel what I needed to feel at that time. I stopped trying to focus on work. I released control of the situation. I navigated by trusting my colleagues to do what I couldn’t and allowing them to literally help me. Their help was invaluable to my presence with my dad. In that moment there was no balance; my role as daughter superseded everything.
Leadership is not a role of balance; it is a role of leaning in and knowing when to release control. I embrace my ability to be a leader that trusts my colleagues and team to support me when I need both. Who needs balance when presence and self care is so important to happiness.
